Don’t you want a second chance when you mess up? I know I do. Let’s try that again…I have always wanted a second chance every time I have messed up. It’s in our nature to want a second chance that’s why this get traction so fast. The way we give second chances in our home is to have our kids do it again, or allow them a redo. This is an important and valuable tool because it allows our kids the opportunity to get it right. This gives them a chance to build muscle memory doing it the right way and creates a memory of a good outcome for them.
We have engaged in redo’s so frequently that our kids ask for them right away. There’s a spiritual truth built into redo’s as well. They teach our kids, and remind us, about two wonderful things, grace and repentance.
A famous example of a redo in scripture is found at the end of the gospel of John when Jesus restores Peter after His resurrection. You remember that Peter told Jesus that he would never desert Him. Jesus replied that before the rooster crowed three times Peter would deny Him that very night. Fast forward and Peter does just as Jesus said he would – he denied the Lord three times before the rooster crowed.
The bible says that after Peter denied Jesus for the third time he heard the rooster crow and he wept bitterly. He didn’t cry. He didn’t weep. He wept bitterly.
We have a beautiful picture of getting it wrong and immediate contrition in that moment. What is even more beautiful is the account in John’s gospel of Peter being restored by Jesus. Much like he denied his Lord three times he had to affirm his love for Jesus three times as well.
We must encourage and grow these tender hearts in our kids. Contrition is a beautiful thing and wanting a second chance is a sign of a contrite heart. There is a practical application as well and that is our kids practice doing it, whatever it may be, the right way. Not only are we creating muscle memory for doing it the right way but we are leaving them with a positive memory of the event as well. They remember doing it right because that is the last thing they did.
We are now at the point where the kids will do something they know they shouldn’t and they’ll immediately ask if they can try it again. The strategy has really helped with our more emotional children because they know that they can have a second chance at getting it right. And because of that there has been a significant reduction in the amount of tantrums we have seen.
Kayla shared on redo’s and included a very practical redo scenario this summer. You can read it by clicking here.