As a preemie, weighing only 1 lb. at birth, you can be sure that our girl is quite a fighter! She went through many surgeries, hospitalizations and medications in her first few years. Now she is a happy, healthy 6 year old who is ready for anything!
To say that our foster care journey with her was a roller coaster would be an understatement. I remember many nights standing beside her crib, holding her and crying because I didn’t want to put her down. I was so afraid that each day would be the last that we had with her. A wise friend, and former foster mom, said to me that we never know how many days God will give us with any of our children (foster, adopted, biological) so we should enjoy each day. I tried very hard to remember that advice, but it was so hard in the moment.
I remember one Monday afternoon when CPS called and said they were moving her to another home to be closer to her birth mom. I was devastated! I began sobbing and trying to come up with alternate plans that would keep her in our home. Eventually it was decided that staying in our home would be the best for now. This went on for about 2 years.
Then something wonderful happened…we decided to reach out to her birth mom. Up to this point we had been too scared. We had met her on several occasions, but had never invite her into our life. Eventually she saw what a bond we had with Banana Girl and how loved she was in our family, and her birth mom asked us to adopt her. What a privilege it was to get to know this precious mom who sacrificed for the well being of her daughter!! We have a very open adoption where we see and talk to her birth mom on a regular basis. We adore her and are so grateful for the gift she gave us. We did not understand why we were on this roller coaster ride, but God brought us through it in His perfect time…not ours. A friend of mine wrote this wonderful article about birth moms and their significance in our family.
Kayla North is co-founder of One Big Happy Home and is considered an expert on childhood trauma. Along with her husband, she has developed training materials and programs for parents, churches, and schools educating them on trauma and its impacts. Kayla is also an affiliate trainer with Trauma Free World, an ETC Parent Trainer, TBRI practitioner, and the Executive Directory of Tapestry. She speaks at churches, schools, conferences, and retreats nationwide.