The pain of moving forward after a loss is hard. Losing a child, a spouse, or a parent. Losing a job or a friendship. A failed business venture or a failed marriage. You know that pain that hits you deep to your core. The grief hits you when you least expect it. That knot in your stomach keeps you from falling asleep at night and greets you like a punch when you wake up. The smiling faces pass by you, but you don’t know how to respond. The words don’t come out like you want. Sometimes sarcasm seems safer than vulnerability. The tears flow when you least expect them. Your thoughts are consumed. Some people know what you are going through and greet you with a sympathetic hello. But they don’t really know what to say. Nothing they say makes it hurt less. Others are blissfully unaware of the pain you feel.
How do we make sense of this kind of pain? How do we keep going and not let the grief overcome us? Only Jesus. Only remembering His faithfulness, even when others have betrayed us. Only resting in His strength when we feel we have none. Only remembering His provision for us can help us through our trials.
When all the nation had finished passing over the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua, “Take twelve men from the people, from each tribe a man, and command them, saying, ‘Take twelve stones from here out of the midst of the Jordan, from the very place where the priests’ feet stood firmly, and bring them over with you and lay them down in the place where you lodge tonight.’” Then Joshua called the twelve men from the people of Israel, whom he had appointed, a man from each tribe. And Joshua said to them, “Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever. – Joshua 4:1-7
It is easy to forget God’s faithfulness in the midst of pain. Remember His faithfulness. Tell your children. Shout it from the rooftops, even when all you want to do is crawl back in bed. Even when the tears are still flowing freely. God is good. He will use your current suffering to bring redemption. He will use your current grief to show His faithfulness.
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
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Kayla North is co-founder of One Big Happy Home and is considered an expert on childhood trauma. Along with her husband, she has developed training materials and programs for parents, churches, and schools educating them on trauma and its impacts. Kayla is also an affiliate trainer with Trauma Free World, an ETC Parent Trainer, TBRI practitioner, and the Executive Directory of Tapestry. She speaks at churches, schools, conferences, and retreats nationwide.
Amen sister!