See the Need, Not the Behavior

We have to start asking different questions about our kids’ behaviors if we want to be connected parents.

Instead of asking “What are you doing?” ask “What do you need?”  

Addressing the need behind the behavior will help us to see our kids differently. When we see our kids differently, when we see their needs and not their behaviors, we will parent them differently.

When we see their needs and not their behaviors, we become more empathetic and more compassionate.

When we are consistently empathetic and compassionate our kids will feel safe and start to trust us more.

When they feel safe and trust us more they will start to heal. When they heal we see changed behaviors. 

If you want to change your child’s behavior, find the unmet need that is driving their behavior and meet that need.