If youāre from the same generation as I am (Iām 42), then you probably heard this phrase many times growing up. āDo as I say and not as I do.ā While I imagine it feels good to say it, itās not really great parenting.
Hereās why.
Our kids learn way more by watching what we do than they do by listening to us.
Thatās not to say we shouldnāt instruct our kids, of course, we should. It is our responsibility to teach them and to train them. But we have to be mindful of the fact that we instruct them with our actions and not just with our words.
If we donāt want them to yell at their siblings then we should probably not yell at them. If we donāt like it when they ignore us, we shouldnāt make them work so hard to get our attention. I could go on, but there is rarely any value in beating a dead horse.
We should always ask ourselves if we are modeling the kind of person we want our kids to be because they are always watching us.

Ryan North is the Co-Founder of One Big Happy Home and creator of The Empowered Parent Podcast. He is a recognized expert on childhood trauma, a TBRI Practitioner, and develops training materials for parents, schools, churches, and child-placing agencies. Ryan is a sought-after speaker known for his engaging and practical approach to communicatingĀ complex issues clearly and relatable to a wide range of audiences.