In August we started a new diet. I actually hate to call it that. It’s really been more of a lifestyle change. Diet implies something you do for a time to lose weight. To fix a problem. Then you go back to your old ways, leading to another diet down the road. This program is really about understanding the relationship with food, changing your mindset about eating, and pairing great workouts with a new pattern of eating.

Progress over perfection is the mantra of this program, and honestly is the reason I am still using the principles of the program 8 months later. Do I still have work to do? Absolutely. Did I eat more junk than I should have yesterday? Yep. But that doesn’t mean I have ruined my diet. Instead it means that today I will add in more water, more healthy food, and keep going. Progress over perfection.

This is the same as parenting. We hear about a more connected approach to parenting and we are ready for a change. Our old ways of parenting with yelling, lectures, and punishment aren’t working. We read everything we can, listen to all the experts, and then begin to implement what we learn.

Jumping all in for a couple of weeks, we try to meet our kids’ needs and try really hard to connect with them. We try hard not to yell and to give our kids a voice, but day after day we fail. Resorting to our old ways of yelling or being punitive, and then beating ourselves up because we have failed again.

We convince ourselves it either doesn’t work or we are a failure. Here’s the thing…you didn’t fail. You tried and hit a roadblock. You faced a new challenge, but you also did some things better than the day before. Progress over perfection.

Connected parenting is a lifestyle change. Not a quick fix for behaviors. It’s not a way to force our kids into compliance. We focus on our relationship with our kids and we shift our mindset. We begin to see behaviors as communication of a need.

As we begin to implement small changes that will take time but will work to strengthen our relationship and teach our kids new ways to communicate their needs so we can hear them.

So make a plan today. Start somewhere. When things don’t go the way you planned, keep going. Try again the next day. This is a lifestyle change. A mindset shift. Progress over perfection.

Need help making a plan? Check out this podcast episode “What to do when you get home from a conference” Have lots of kids? You may find this post on Big Family Dynamics helpful. Looking to add more connection? Check out this post on Connection Jars.

What is your next step on this journey? Share with us in the comments.