We just got back from a week at Family Camp in Colorado and the first day back from vacation may be the worst.
I’d like to go back to the mountains where meals were cooked for me and counselors were always on call to entertain my kids. Where my worries seemed far away and we were surrounded by families who understand the struggles unique to foster and adoptive homes.
It was nice to spend a week in a judgment-free zone.
We spent time this past week with families dealing with mental illness, violence, and frequent meltdowns.
Parents who’ve had to make really hard choices to keep their kids safe.
Kids who are learning to trust and struggling to feel safe.
Parents and kids who are doing HARD work to heal the wounds of trauma.
Families who are tired.
And most of them said family camp is the one place they can let down their guard and not feel judged. As a society, we need to do better. We need to become trauma-informed. We need to create safe places for these families.
For my family.
You may not know the hard they are going through unless they feel safe enough to tell you.
You don’t know the lengths they have gone to heal the wounds of trauma.
You don’t know the tears parents cry or the guilt they carry wondering if they could have done something more.
You don’t understand the shame from past hurts that comes out as anger, lies, and manipulation.
So be curious when parents do things differently than you think they should. Be curious when you see behavior that makes you want to judge a parent or child (or give unsolicited advice).
Do you want to understand how trauma impacts kids and families? Educate yourself. Ask questions.
Be curious, not judgmental.
#Adoption #FosterCare #TraumaInformed #TedLasso
Have you subscribed to our YouTube Channel?
Check out Empowered Parent Television for uplifting and exciting content today.
Kayla North is co-founder of One Big Happy Home and is considered an expert on childhood trauma. Along with her husband, she has developed training materials and programs for parents, churches, and schools educating them on trauma and its impacts. Kayla is also an affiliate trainer with Trauma Free World, an ETC Parent Trainer, TBRI practitioner, and the Executive Directory of Tapestry. She speaks at churches, schools, conferences, and retreats nationwide.