I have a confession to make. I want to be a perfect mom.
I know it’s not possible. I know I fall short every day. But still, often that is what I expect from myself, leaving me feeling defeated when things don’t go the way I hoped.
When my kids struggle and I don’t know how to help them.
When behaviors get the best of me and I yell.
When I don’t have the words to teach my kids the things I want them to know.
17 years ago we started the process to become parents like everyone does…we went to some classes and submitted a lot of paperwork. Okay maybe not everyone does it that way, but it was the path God sent us on because foster care was not my choice.
We talked about adoption, but we didn’t fully understand it. We saw it from our perspective as a way to help kids. We had love to give, and we wanted to make a place for kids who needed a home. We wanted to grow our family.
What we didn’t see was the great loss that is inherently a part of every adoption and foster care story. What we couldn’t see was the great loss that would become part of our story.
James 1:27 is an often quoted verse when talking about caring for widows and orphans. “in their distress.”
That little phrase means I will enter into the hard, the messy, the painful places with my kids. I won’t always have the right words to say or know how to handle every situation because despite my best efforts I am not a perfect mom.
But I know this is where God has called me, so I know He will continue to equip me.
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Kayla North is co-founder of One Big Happy Home and is considered an expert on childhood trauma. Along with her husband, she has developed training materials and programs for parents, churches, and schools educating them on trauma and its impacts. Kayla is also an affiliate trainer with Trauma Free World, an ETC Parent Trainer, TBRI practitioner, and the Executive Directory of Tapestry. She speaks at churches, schools, conferences, and retreats nationwide.