Finding Balance
I have always been a “worst case scenario” person…in my head. You know what I mean right? Like when my husband calls to say he is headed home from work, and then when he doesn’t come home at the time I think he should, I imagine that he has gotten into a wreck and begin stalking ‘Find my iPhone’ to make sure his car is still moving. Then when he gets home I hug him a little tighter.
I don’t usually say the thoughts that run through my head out loud, but they are still there. They still cause my heart rate to rise a bit, and my stress level to rise. And when my stress level rises I tend to have less patience, more overreaction to small things, and bigger emotions. My window of tolerance for behaviors gets smaller.
So you can imagine that in those seasons of hard as one thing after another happens around me that my worst-case scenario brain goes into overdrive. I can feel the weight in my chest as I play out the “what ifs” in my head. The one thing that I keep coming back to is the verse in second Corinthians that tells us to
“…take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:5
Those thoughts running through my head are not from God. Those thoughts are not consistent with who I know God to be. God promises that He will take care of us and provide for us.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Matthew 6:25-27
If we as adults struggle to take our thoughts captive and trust God, how much more do our kids struggle in those seasons? So if you find your family is experiencing some big emotions or challenging circumstances pause and reflect. Has this season resulted in an increase in the need for everyone to control little things, sleepless nights, or big behaviors?
Take a few minutes to evaluate:
- How are YOU doing emotionally? Are you being triggered by something? Talk to someone you trust and share your BIG feelings. You will be able to better care for your kids when you take care of yourself.
- What are the big behaviors your kids are having? What is going on behind those behaviors? Is your child being triggered by something?
- How can you help your child through their big emotions? What do they NEED?
What are some ways you are keeping balanced at home? Please share them in the comments.
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Kayla North is co-founder of One Big Happy Home and is considered an expert on childhood trauma. Along with her husband, she has developed training materials and programs for parents, churches, and schools educating them on trauma and its impacts. Kayla is also an affiliate trainer with Trauma Free World, an ETC Parent Trainer, TBRI practitioner, and the Executive Directory of Tapestry. She speaks at churches, schools, conferences, and retreats nationwide.