Parenting Scripts Without Shame
When our kids do various things that drive us bonkers, it can be easy to use shame and blame to try and get them to stop. We get frustrated and often revert to our old way of parenting. Instead, let’s try some short and simple scripts that can keep us from lectures that do more harm than good.
When a child is talking back or arguing…
“Asked and answered”
“You may ask for a compromise”
“Use your good words”
“Try that again with respect”
When a child hurts someone (intentionally or accidentally)…
“Let’s make things right”
“It’s not okay to hurt”
“It’s my job to keep everyone safe.”
“It’s not okay to hurt others”
“Gentle and kind”
“Hands to yourself”
When a child struggles with good hygiene or personal care…
“We shower every day”
“Let’s remember deodorant”
“Brush your hair before school”
“Brush your teeth before bed”
Remember…
Lectures and shaming don’t help our kids want to do better. They only feed the belief that they aren’t lovable and adults aren’t kind.
Keep your words to a minimum. Otherwise, you sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. 😉
Use short, familiar scripts to remind them of things you want them to remember, but don’t nag.
Having a few simple scripts on hand can make a world of difference in those challenging moments.
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Kayla North is co-founder of One Big Happy Home and is considered an expert on childhood trauma. Along with her husband, she has developed training materials and programs for parents, churches, and schools educating them on trauma and its impacts. Kayla is also an affiliate trainer with Trauma Free World, an ETC Parent Trainer, TBRI practitioner, and the Executive Directory of Tapestry. She speaks at churches, schools, conferences, and retreats nationwide.