One of the most helpful things ever shared with me is the idea that we spend as much time managing perceptions as we do dealing with reality. That rings true in almost every avenue of life and perhaps none more so than with our kids, especially as it relates to their self-worth and self-image. Some [...]
Category: Adopt
You’ve Got Perceptions, I’ve Got Reality
One of the most helpful things ever shared with me is the idea that we spend as much time managing perceptions as we do dealing with reality. That rings true in almost every avenue of life and perhaps none more so than with our kids, especially as it relates to their self-worth and self-image. Some [...]
Labels Are For Things Not People
We all like to label things. If it doesn't have a label, then it doesn't make any sense to us. We even have label makers so that we can label our things. Apparently the names they were assigned by their makers donāt really work for us. We have to give them names that fit our [...]
Band-Aids Heal More Than You Can See
Giving and receiving love may seem like an easy thing, but for many adopted and foster kids this is hard. They have given love to people only to have those people disappear from their life or not return their love. They have received love only to be moved to a new home, or the "love" [...]
People Mean Well…No, Really They Do
I know people mean well, but good intentions are not necessarily an indicator of right actions. We've been asked some questions over the years that either leave us smiling or scratching our heads. These questions could be considered misguided or uninformed, perhaps the thoughts of people who donāt know any better, but when strangers ask [...]
What’s the Impact?
Someone told me recently that she and her husband want to foster when their biological kids are older. She told me they have a heart for foster kids and a background in counseling, so they think fostering would be a great ministry. But they don't want foster kids to negatively affect their children. This is [...]
The Wounds You Don’t See [updated]
I recently read a study that highlighted the difference between our ability to recall images versus words. There were two control groups. The first was shown a picture of a circle. The word ācircleā was written down for the second group. The groups were re-convened 72 hours later and asked what they were shown. The [...]
A Girl Named Jaime
I met a girl named Jaime at Trader Joe's the other day. She approached me and asked me if some of my children were adopted. After many years of being a foster and adoptive mom I am used to random people stopping me and asking me about my kids. When I was a new foster [...]
The Tale of Two Thanksgivings
Thanksgiving 2013 has come and gone without serious incident at our house. That statement is enough reason to rejoice because there is always the potential that something could go wrong every year. I won't get into it here but let's just say experience has made me wise. Fortunately this year nothing went wrong. We had [...]
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, Maybe
I am really looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving on Thursday. Itās one of my favorite holidays. I love the way it smells, the weather is usually perfect and thereās football to watch. Maybe Iāve idealized the whole thing, but the thought of a day where the whole nation pauses to remember what we're thankful for [...]